Finishing things up is not my favorite thing in the world. I like to start things, do them for a while and then go do something else.
But I as I get older, I am finally understanding the joys of completion.
For years laundry has been a living beast for me. It just went on and on and on, no end, no beginning. Then one day I started it, folded it all and then put it all away. My life would never be the same again.
It certainly isn't the norm around my house though. I did it once.
But what I did understand from that one glorious act was that finishing things was possible. And that when one thing was finished, you don't have to think about anymore, because, it is done. You can move on, and not just "go do something else" you could move on, liberated.
I really liked that word, liberated, liberation. It's different from freedom slightly, because with freedom there is no certainty that one has ever understood what it is not to be free. Liberation implies that you were once restricted, hindered, restrained. It is a big word with big implications. As in Liberation Theology or the Liberation of the Concentration Camps. It implies something big.
That fated day as I was simply folding laundry and doing my house work thing, I had deep sense of liberation. Don't worry, I don't liken my moment to either of the above stated examples. But it was simply a personal moment of realization, then liberation. I often come to very deep understandings while I am doing house work. Really.
So my point, if there is one, is that joyous completion comes after the hard work. But you gotta do the work. The finished product could never be finished without the work, the maintenance. And there is only a sense of liberation, at least for me, when I can know the work, do the work, respect the work and then walk away. Not just walk away to do something else, but walk away because I am done.
Today I am finishing something really big, a series, a body of work. And it isn't just completing the work itself, I am completing the process by putting myself out there and show the world what I do.
It is a first for me. It feels good, it feels complete. I feel liberated...from my own personal art demons.
Pray for me, because tonight I have to speak in public, I will be wearing a dress and heels and my heart and soul(my work) will be on display for the worlds viewing.
Maybe I spoke too soon, I might not be liberated until later tonight. Talk to me after the show.