He is off for the first time without his mother, his father, his sister, without anyone who knows or loves him.
He is all alone in the world.
Alright, that may be an exageration.
This morning my 15 year old freshman left on a three day trip with his varsity baseball team.
He is so little, they just don't know him like I do.
Who will make him warm milk and honey and read him Goodnight Moon?
I told him that I had a call in to his coach with a list of all things that he would need to remember to do for Kai. Cut his meat, tie his shoes, tuck in his shirt, feed him a snack when he gets grouchy and make sure he gets a good nights sleep.
Kai just looked at me, shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Yeah right Mom!"
Truth be told, I feel like this is just what I have been preparing my kid for these last 15 years. I have been preparing him to make his way into the world and find adventure. I have been preparing him to walk his path solo, so that he need never rely on others to make it happen for him. I have been preparing him to observe the world first, then act. I have been loving him with my whole heart so that he knows what unconditional love is. I have taught him to stop, drop and roll.
But let's be real here, he is a 15 year old boy. Not much common sense rattles around the old mellon these days. But above and beyond what I have already provided...I guess there ain't nothin' I can do now. He is out there in the world with a whole team of older kids who drive, have beards, and possibly do unsavory things that I do not approve of.
I guess that is all for him to navigate now.
I wish I had put a GPS tracking device on his phone, or sewn into his jacket pocket!
All I know is that I have done the best I know how, I have to trust. I have to trust in him, in me, in the world.
I am certain everything will be just fine.
Right after I call his coach.